an honest man
by ulstergirl
Summary: Nancy answers Ned's phone when she really, really shouldn't.
1. Chapter 1

Ned stifled a yawn as he closed the front door behind him, hearing the heavy _thunk_ of the deadbolt as it slid home. It had been an incredibly long night, although it wasn't even over yet. The two-liter he'd had delivered with his midnight pizza had kept him buzzing for a while, but now the crash had come, and it was all he could do to stay upright.

Fog had crept over Chicago since he'd arrived, casting a haze between him and his car, parked on the curb in front of the house. It muffled his footsteps, too, muffled the jingle of his keyring as he pulled it out of his pocket. The street was dead-quiet, all but deserted in the early morning hours, and in the white noise of the stillness Ned _still_ found himself straining for the sound of a baby's wail.

Damn, he needed sleep.

He scrubbed the heel of his hand against his stubbled jaw, and he couldn't stifle the next yawn. Curling up in the backseat of his car didn't sound like such a bad idea. He wasn't sure how he would be able to drive, especially in the fog, but the familiar mental image of his own bed nearly made him groan with longing.

The passenger side door of his car popped open. In the time it took Ned to register it, reddish-gold hair rose above it, then a very familiar face.

Ned gaped at her grin. "What...?"

"Thought you might be tired. I can drive you home?"

He gaped for a moment longer. "Uh... yeah," he finally said, shaking his head. "Sorry. I..."

She waved, dismissing his nascent explanation, and took the keys out of his hand before gesturing him to climb in. Ned obeyed, landing heavily in the passenger seat. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been a passenger in his own car.

"So. Did you ever get the baby to sleep?" Nancy asked, checking the side mirror before pulling out and heading for the main road.

Ned nodded, yawning again. "Yeah. It took... forever." His head lolled to the side, and he looked out at the blur of homes they passed without really seeing it.

Mike was Ned's best friend, and when he'd said he would do anything for him, he'd meant it. He just hadn't envisioned that it would entail taking care of Mike and Jan's three-week-old baby. They had needed to go to the hospital for an emergency, and Jan's sister had been called but couldn't get there for a few hours, so Ned had been called in.

"So did you know you can't microwave bottles?"

Nancy had an incredulous look on her face when Ned finally scraped up the strength to turn his head and glance at her. "Of course. You didn't?"

Ned shook his head, yawning again. He'd spent half the time at Mike and Jan's on the phone with his mother, who had been very patient while Ned freaked out. At first Ned had wished Nancy could come with him—she had been on a stakeout, and while she had commiserated via text, she hadn't been able to get away—but he'd eventually been glad she wasn't there to witness his complete lack of skill with babysitting.

He caught himself snoring quietly and jerked awake, Nancy's hand on his knee. "It's all right. We're almost there."

Parking at his apartment building was, as always, a nightmare. He drifted off, then jerked awake again as Nancy put his car in park and popped the locks. "Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey." Ned dry-washed his face with his palms, trying to force himself to wake up, if only for long enough to make it to his bedroom.

Nancy wrapped her arm around his waist as they approached the building, and he didn't exactly lean on her, but he did trust her to lead him. He hadn't thought he was out of shape, or out of practice when it came to pulling all-nighters, but in no way had he been prepared for tonight.

"Hey, thanks," he said carefully once they were in the elevator. It was old and creaked, but the thought of climbing the stairs in his condition made him infinitely tired. Even forming coherent words was a struggle. "Don't know what I would've done without you."

She smiled and gave him a little squeeze. "Anytime, Nickerson," she said lightly. "I'm just happy to be able to help."

At his front door, he blearily patted his pockets, finally registering that Nancy still had his keyring and was unlocking the door already. "Hey," he said, standing there even as she pushed the door open and walked in, gazing at him expectantly. The sky was beginning to lighten. How was she so coherent?

She chuckled when he looked up and into her face. "I have to make sure you don't faceplant on the floor before you get to bed," she told him, her eyes dancing. She reached for his hand. "Come on..."

Ned ran a hand through his hair as she guided him in. "I'm okay," he protested belatedly, clumsily toeing out of his shoes, reaching for his fly. "You... stay here?"

Nancy raised her eyebrows, but he was pretty sure it wasn't in an accusing way, or an angry way. She was treating him like he was drunk, so maybe she didn't think he was being serious.

"Just to sleep," he clarified, although he could hear the slurring in his speech. He pulled his shirt over his head and yawned hugely as his arms fell heavily back down to his sides, the shirt still caught on them.

Nancy laughed. "Sure," she said, patting his biceps. "_That_, I believe."

* * *

The phone was ringing.

Nancy jerked awake, mumbling a half-formed question to no one. Sometime in the two seconds she'd had her eyes closed, the sun had risen to brilliant terrifying glory and was searing on the other side of the blinds. Her head had that muzzy feeling that meant a headache would be coming soon, and—

The phone rang again.

She tried to reach for it, but she was tangled up in the sheets and blankets, and by the time her hand made it out, the screen had stopped flashing and the phone was silent. She closed her eyes with a sigh of relief and let her head drop heavily back to the pillow.

It rang again.

"Argh," she muttered, clearing her throat as she reached for it. She yanked it toward her face before she registered that it was tethered by the too-short charger cord, and muttered a curse as she disconnected it.

"Hello?" she answered, sounding oddly congested. No one answered. "Hello?" she tried again, and coughed.

"Nancy?"

Suddenly Nancy was completely, painfully awake, her eyes wide, shock temporarily paralyzing her. She'd answered Ned's cell phone, and she should have known better, but she hadn't been thinking straight. She mentally let out a string of curse words. "Good morning," she said to Ned's mother, trying to keep her voice calm, glancing belatedly at Ned's alarm clock to see if it even _was_ morning anymore.

Then a wave of startling rage swept over her. What other women had been answering Ned's cell phone?

"Good morning," Edith replied, and her voice had changed slightly. "Is Ned nearby?"

Nancy flushed scarlet, and a parade of excuses started running through her head. He was in the shower? That sounded bad. He was in the middle of something? Also bad. _I just came over to fix Ned breakfast and..._ Too desperate. "Um, yes—I can ask him to call you back," she settled on. Maybe avoiding directly answering would sound bad, but everything else sounded infinitely worse.

"Good. I just wanted to make sure he made it home all right. I asked him to call me back to do it, but I guess he fell asleep and didn't remember."

That was exactly what had happened. Nancy had barely remembered to plug Ned's phone in before she had collapsed to the bed beside him. As soon as he had started snoring, a belated wave of exhaustion had swept over her too. "I guess so," she stammered. "He's fine."

"Glad to hear it. And, Nancy, while I'm talking to you—do you have any plans for next weekend? Jim and I would like to invite you to dinner."

Nancy covered her eyes with her palm. "That sounds great, Mrs. Nickerson," she said, feeling how hot her face was against the heel of her hand. "Just let me know."

As soon as she hung up the phone, Nancy heard a deep, almost guttural chuckle behind her. She turned onto her other side to see Ned cracking up, his hair somehow both tousled and sexy, the shadow of stubble on his cheeks.

"Oh my God! How could you let me..."

Ned was still laughing as he blocked the mostly playful punch she directed at his shoulder. "You think it would've been better if I'd grabbed the phone? 'Sorry, Mom, Nancy and I decided to sleep in...'"

"Well, not if you'd said _that_." She raked her hair back. "Shit."

"We weren't doing anything," Ned pointed out mildly.

"Yeah, but now... shit. Why the hell did I pick it up?" she mumbled to herself, flipping the blankets up and diving beneath them.

Ned chuckled again, then moved under the covers too. "It's no big deal."

"And the dinner invitation is no big deal?"

"Well... they'll probably ask if you're going to make an honest man out of me."

Nancy punched him again, and this time her fist connected, though she'd put barely any force behind it. "Just for that," she muttered, but trailed off.

"Just for that, what?" Ned asked. She could still hear laughter in his voice. "You don't want to make an honest man out of me?"

"You know that's not how it works," she replied. "Besides, you've always been honest."

"True." He tentatively slid an arm around her, and when she didn't shove him away, he pulled her close. "I'm honestly crazy about you. I like waking up to find you in my bed. Slightly embarrassing phone calls and all."

"'Slightly.'" Nancy scoffed. Then she stiffened a little. "Oh God, at least she didn't get so panicked that she decided to drop by."

"See? Way to look for the positive," Ned said, and kissed the crown of her head. "Now, we need to either go back to sleep before my stomach starts growling or eat breakfast. Brunch. Something involving a stack of pancakes, anyway."

"Hmm. There's always a third option," Nancy suggested, her voice half-muffled against his collarbone. Her cheeks were flushed again.

"Why, Miss Drew. Surely you aren't trying to seduce me. Taking advantage of me in my weakened, groggy state..."

Nancy laughed. In a swift move he had her on her back with his knees between her legs.

She kissed her fingertip and touched it to his lips. "Bathroom, brush teeth, then... resume."

"Mmm-hmm." He lowered himself to her, sliding his hand over her. The feel of his stubble against her neck made her shiver.

"Now, Nickerson."

"I thought you'd never ask," he said, and she laughed as he nuzzled against her.

"All right, all _right_."

He pushed himself back up and kissed her cheek. "Five minutes."

She nodded, flipping down the covers, and they both squinted against the bright sunlight. "Five minutes," she agreed, and pushed herself up to kiss his cheek before scrambling out from under him, adjusting her clothes as she went.

"Thanks," he said, when she was at his bedroom door. She turned around to look at him, eyebrow raised questioningly.

"For being you. For coming to get me last night even though you had to be dead on your feet, too."

She gave him a slow, genuine grin. "You're welcome. Use the next few minutes to think of a way to thank me properly."

Ned laughed. "Trust me, there won't be anything proper about it."


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm going to need you to murder me."

George raised her eyebrows as she glanced over at Nancy. "Are we talking a fake hit for a case you're on, or...?"

"Worse." Nancy slid the elastic out of her hair and gathered her ponytail again, catching all the loose strands. A tennis match with George was definitely no joke. "Well, we can just say I died of heatstroke. Holy shit, it's a sauna out here."

"Uh-huh. 'Worse' means... did your dad find out something embarrassing?" George guessed.

"Almost." Nancy ducked her head. "I, uh, answered Ned's cell phone."

"When his parents were calling?" When Nancy nodded slightly, George hooted with laughter. "At a time you shouldn't have been innocently answering his cell phone."

"Yeah. Like I said, we'll need to make it look good. I need a new identity and everything."

"Well, if anyone could pull that off..." George raised her tennis racquet in mock salute. "So I'm imagining something big and splashy. We'll need lots of stage blood, maybe a machete or two. Or we can just line up some plausible suspects you've investigated and go from there."

Nancy shivered. Some of her cases, she _definitely _didn't want to relive. Then she cracked a smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." They reached their cooler, and George downed half her water bottle, condensation rolling down the sides, before pressing it to her flushed forehead. "Honestly, though, is it really that big a deal?"

"It's mortifying," Nancy said immediately. "To have dinner with them, and there's no way Edith didn't tell James…"

"Ahh. You skipped the dinner part." George took another long sip of water and pulled back with a gasp. Nancy dunked the corner of a towel into the icy water and bathed her flushed face with it, sighing in all too temporary relief. Then George hefted the cooler and led the way back to her car.

"What does Ned think of all this?"

"That it's hilarious. He's not nervous at all. I think he called it 'slightly embarrassing.'" Nancy shook her head.

"What are you imagining? That Edith will pour you a mug of tea and hand it to you while asking 'So how long have you been banging my son, you slut?' and glaring at you?"

Nancy couldn't help chuckling. "Kinda, yeah. My head knows she wouldn't do that. But…"

"It's the twenty-first century. You and Ned have been together how many years? She'd have to be incredibly sheltered to think you haven't been sleeping together. And it sounds like Ned hasn't exactly kept it a state secret either."

"Yeah, but, being pretty sure isn't the same as having it flaunted."

George rolled her eyes. "Somehow I doubt you 'flaunted it.' 'Oh yes, Mrs. Nickerson, so nice to hear from you. I just climbed off your ridiculously handsome son.'"

Nancy laughed and blushed at the same time. "The worst part was, we hadn't," she admitted. "For once, we really were just sleeping in the same bed."

"Uh-huh," George said, her tone dripping disbelief.

Nancy sighed. "And if my best friend doesn't believe me, there's definitely no way she will."

George shrugged, then gave Nancy a pat. "You'll be fine. You'll get through it, and then we'll get together with Bess for a post-mortem. With nachos. And margaritas." Her eyes lit up.

Nancy laughed. "You're such a kind, sympathetic friend."

George grinned and tipped her head back in mock pride. "I do what I can. It's nice to be appreciated."

* * *

Nancy knocked on the door of Ned's apartment and took a step back. She had her own key, but he was supposed to be home already. Since his birthday surprise last year, actually, she couldn't remember the last time she'd used it.

He opened it, an apple in his other hand, one crisp bite missing. He swallowed and gestured for her to come inside, his dark eyes alight.

She knew she was being ridiculous, but every time she forced herself to think _I'm worried about nothing, it's not going to be that bad, _she was overcome by nauseating panic. "So," she said, keeping her voice casual as she put her purse down, "what are you wearing?"

Ned raised his eyebrows as he swallowed another bite of apple.

"Saturday night," she clarified, tamping down her irritation. She was mostly mad at herself, anyway. She had stupidly answered the damn phone and started this avalanche of mortification. "Dinner with your parents?"

He paused with the apple half-raised. "Oh. I wasn't invited."

"Wasn't—" Nancy stared blankly at him, bile churning in her gut. She really _was _going to have to fake her own death.

Ned burst into laughter, holding his hands up defensively. "Kidding, kidding," he said hastily, though his eyes were dancing.

Nancy shook her head, sputtering in speechless rage, as the blood that had drained so swiftly from her face flooded back. "Oh my God. Your parents are going to eviscerate me and you're joking about it."

"I doubt it will come to that." He slid an arm around her shoulders, steering her toward the couch as he took another bite of his apple.

"You doubt it. So there's a chance, then."

Ned flopped down on the couch and gestured for her to join him. "Sweetheart, they love you. They won't kill you. It'll be fine."

Nancy frowned as she sat down beside him. "How are you so calm about this? You know it's going to be incredibly awkward, right?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. But it's not like they didn't already know."

Nancy's mouth dropped open, and she stared at him in speechless shock again. Then she chuckled, shaking her head. "Good one."

He smiled gently and took another bite of his apple.

She kept staring at him, waiting for him to say he was joking again. But his expression was sincere. "You _told them?_" she said. The way her blood pressure was heading, she would need to be hospitalized by the end of the day.

"Of course not," he retorted, his eyebrows up. Then he sighed. "So when I was getting ready to go to Emerson, they had a talk with me about respecting your boundaries and having safe sex."

Nancy knew she had to be beet-red all the way to the roots of her hair. "Well, that was… a while back," she said, weakly.

"And then again when I was moving into this place."

Nancy buried her face in her hands, hunching over. Shallow breaths, but without hyperventilating. Somehow. _Holy fuck._

Ned started rubbing her back. She heard him take a breath as though he was about to say something, but apparently he thought better of it. She wasn't sure she would be able to form any coherent reply, anyway.

"So… I'm guessing your dad didn't do that," he said slowly.

Nancy released a burst of sarcastic, almost hysterical laughter as she brought her head back up. "No," she said unnecessarily. "Very much no. I… I think he wants to be agnostic about it, really. He doesn't ask and I don't tell."

Ned murmured in understanding. "No wonder you freaked."

She brought her palm up in an exasperated gesture, then forced herself to take a slow breath. "Okay… so in my head, any of our parents knowing that we're—having sex, is a sign of disrespect. To them."

Ned raised his eyebrows. "Uh, what year is it in your head? Eighteen-sixty-five?"

"I didn't say it was logical. And you sound like George."

Ned laughed at that. "Well, if it helps, no, I don't talk to my parents about our sex life." Then his expression changed slightly.

Nancy gasped in realization. "But you have!" she accused him.

Ned held his hands up in that defensive gesture again. "It was _once._ And I wasn't bragging or anything, I just had a question. One that there wasn't enough Google Safe Search to guarantee I wasn't going to have nightmares."

She searched his face. "I want to ask, but I don't."

He shook his head. "Trust me, you don't."

Nancy groaned and covered her face again, rubbing her temples. "If I had just let your cell phone die instead of plugging it in," she muttered.

"Then Mom probably would have come over, and used her key, and—"

"And I would have spontaneously combusted out of sheer embarrassment. Which is still a possibility, by the way." Nancy sighed and sat up again. "Okay. So I'm going to wear… like, full-on Victorian schoolmarm. Buttons all the way up to here," she gestured above her collarbone, "below the ankles, mutton-chop sleeves, I'm thinking nice demure brown sprigged muslin. Maybe hoops." She smirked. "You?"

"It's dinner with my parents." He took another bite of his apple. "Tux, of course."

* * *

_Be right down._

Ned smiled as he put his phone down. He hadn't seen Nancy this nervous about a meal with his parents since the first time, although even during that one, she had pretty much contained her anxiety. He had been able to see it in her eyes, her smile, her slightly breathless and overly bright conversation.

This time… she wasn't hiding any of it, not from him. He found it pretty adorable. She had known his parents for years, and had been relaxed around them for most of that time. His mother put up a damn stocking for her at Christmas, _and _put a few gifts in it. She had gone golfing with his father. She had her own mug for tea—pink with black polka dots—and for hot chocolate—a photo mug of the four of them in the snow at the Carbon Lake cabin—in his mother's kitchen.

He'd tried to explain. In his experience, "come have dinner" didn't mean imminent scalding. His mother wasn't that cagey. But Nancy was convinced that his parents were going to chew her out—not him, even though it was his apartment and he had invited her to sleep over and they were consenting adults—and then maybe set her on fire.

She had lived through infinitely worse. He had been there for some of it. She was just _that_ upset by the idea she had offended his parents.

Ned smiled again.

Given her stress level, he had dressed up a little more than usual, even though he had felt a little ridiculous doing so. Usually a summer dinner at his parents' house meant cargo shorts and a t-shirt. For tonight, he wore khakis and a polo shirt. Nancy had even called to make sure their outfits coordinated, so it felt like a date.

Which it was. Just not _that _kind of date.

"Sorry!" Nancy gasped as she slid into the passenger seat. She wore a dress, aqua colored, that was pretty high at the neck and ended just below her knee. The back was gathered into a bow between her shoulder blades. Her high-heeled sandals were the same color as her skin, with a pale gold sheen, and made her shapely legs look miles long. He smiled when he saw a bracelet he'd given her circling her wrist. Under any other circumstances, she looked perfect for a meal at a nice restaurant.

"You look great, baby."

"Thanks." She flashed a brief nervous smile at him in return. "You look very handsome yourself."

He grinned. "Ready?"

"Not at all." She flipped the visor down to check her makeup and gingerly brushed her eyeliner with the edge of a finger. "But it'll be worse if we're late."

Ned chuckled and took the hint, pulling out of the parking space. "Everything will be fine, babe."

"Uh-huh."

"Seriously." He reached over and patted her knee.

"Please don't touch me in front of them tonight."

He glanced over at her. At least a glimmer of humor—maybe gallows, but he didn't mind—was dancing in her eyes. "After my last bite of dessert, I was planning to throw you over my shoulder and carry you upstairs to my old bedroom," he replied, deadpan. "They'll never expect it."

"Ever the gentleman." She tugged at the shoulder strap of her seat belt. "Play your cards right and you'll compromise my virtue so thoroughly that you'll _have_ to offer for me."

"Oooh, I didn't realize you were into Jane Austen roleplay. Tell me more."

By the time he parked in front of his parents' house, Nancy seemed to have relaxed, thanks to their bantering. As soon as she glanced at the front door, though, he saw her tense again. He reached for her hand.

"It's going to be fine," he said, for probably the hundredth time.

"Yeah," she replied, clearly unconvinced. She gave her makeup one last check before Ned opened her door and helped her out of his car.

"I need you to distract me," she murmured when they had almost reached his parents' door. "I feel like hiding in your car until you take pity on me and drive me home. Oh God."

Ned leaned down to whisper in her ear. "After this I'll take you back to my place and..."

Nancy had just sucked in a swift breath when the door swung open to reveal Ned's father. Nancy made a quiet strangled sound. Ned bit the inside of his lips to keep from laughing. Nancy really would murder him if he did.

"Come in!" James said, mostly for Nancy's benefit. He was smiling. "Edith's just finishing up. We're out on the patio tonight. How are you doing?"

Nancy responded with a smile. "Great," she said, and when her voice cracked slightly, Ned had to bite his tongue. "Thank you so much for the invitation."

As soon as he had turned around, Nancy turned to Ned with her eyes narrowed. "That wasn't what I meant," she whispered, her voice practically a hiss.

Ned shrugged, his eyes dancing. "Worked, didn't it?" he whispered back. "Unless you don't want me to…?"

She shook her head. "Don't even try to take it back now," she said. "That's the only thought keeping me from faking some kind of emergency right now. Unless…?"

He patted her shoulder. They were a step away from the kitchen when they paused. Edith and James were just out of sight, laughing about something. Nancy had a wild, panicked look in her eyes.

"As magnificent as my dick is, it doesn't qualify as an emergency."

Nancy sighed, then glanced over at him. "I'd say that depends on what you do with it."

"I like your optimism." He laced his fingers through hers and raised his eyebrows before they walked together into the kitchen.

* * *

Nancy was, very slightly, almost imperceptibly, beginning to relax.

Edith hadn't greeted her with the sign of the cross and flicked holy water. Their meal wasn't a smorgasbord of phallic dishes to be capped off by banana splits; the grilled chicken was surprisingly delicious, even for Edith. James hadn't winkingly elbowed Ned and made some veiled comment. They were acting… normal. But Nancy could feel that she herself wasn't, not quite.

Conversation had gone from political events—Nancy had been around Ned's parents long enough to be comfortable with that—to upcoming plans, Ned's work, Nancy's work, Mike and Jan's baby. James mentioned golf plans with Carson, and Nancy tensed up all over again. Would he _say something to her father? _Oh God.

Ned's fingertips brushed Nancy's hand, and he gave it a little squeeze. She returned it with only a glance in his direction; she was afraid to meet his eyes. He was going to tease her mercilessly about all this later, she was sure. She had been overreacting.

Oh, holy shit, did she hope she had been overreacting. And she knew that they wouldn't be making excuses and bolting for Ned's car before dessert, as much as she wanted to. Once she made it through tonight without ending up in a freshly-prepared grave in his parents' backyard, the rest of her life would be infinitely easier in comparison.

Maybe Edith hadn't told James. Maybe Edith had… filled in the blanks when Nancy hadn't volunteered why she was over at Ned's place. With something innocuous.

_it's not like they didn't already know_

Nancy nearly choked on her bite of corn. Oh God, _they knew_. She could feel that damned blush creeping up over her fair skin. The otherwise pleasant late summer sun felt like a heat lamp. Her dress likely would show sweat stains—hell, display them proudly. Her toes had curled at the point of her sandals for so long they were frozen in place.

_Well, it's not like I can go back in time and do anything about it._

Normally the thought would be comforting, but Nancy was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Until it did, she couldn't relax; after it did, well, she would just have to convince Ned to move to another country with her until she stopped blushing. And that would take a few years, at least.

"Sure," Nancy heard Ned say, and she snapped her head up. During the spiral of her momentary panic attack, she had completely zoned out; she could vaguely remember laughter, but no one was pointing at her.

Ned and his father were clearing dishes. The meal was over! She had lived! She didn't mean for her sigh to be audible, and she covered it with a cough, sitting back and gingerly patting her stomach.

"Dinner was incredible, Mr. and Mrs. Nickerson. Thank you so much."

James laughed heartily. "You're more than welcome. Perfect grilling weather. You were doing us a favor."

Edith laughed too. "And, sweetheart, don't forget to bring Nancy a slice of pie with ice cream. Even if she swears she can't eat another bite, I'm sure Ned will be happy to help her out."

James nodded, and Nancy watched Ned and his father stack up the plates and head into the house with a growing surge of trepidation. She started to push herself back from the table, to help out, but Edith insisted that she sit and let the men wait on them for a change. The expression on her face was still benign and pleasant, but Nancy could see something in her eyes, something speculative.

It was about to happen.

She suddenly wanted to fake a stomach ache, but maybe Edith would find that even more offensive—and then Nancy would have to come back for another nerve-racking meal. Ripping off the band-aid and getting through this shouldn't be so hard. _Shouldn't._

Ned gave Nancy a smile before heading in. His dark eyes were sympathetic.

She would have given _anything_ to beg him to stay, but something about it felt very final, like Edith had planned this. Nancy dabbed her napkin gently against her lips and placed it back in her lap, fiercely damning the heat in her cheeks, which was as ineffectual at stopping it as it always had been. She was a good actress in other situations, but here, in front of Ned's parents, she was at a loss.

"So."

Nancy had met Edith's eyes during the meal, more than once. Briefly, but she had. It had felt like a small victory. Now that they were alone, though, it was impossible to do it again.

"Nancy, relax. I didn't invite you here to yell at you."

_Oh God, she wants to talk about it!_ Nancy forced herself to take a slow, deep breath instead of releasing a breathless, keening scream of utter mortification. She arranged her features in what she hoped was something close to a smile and managed to raise her chin.

Edith looked very placid and dignified, in a peach-colored blouse and tailored slacks. Her gaze was steady on Nancy. That strange watchfulness was still there, though. "More lemonade?" she asked, already standing and reaching for the sweating pitcher at the other end of the table.

Nancy tried to speak, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Yes, please." Anything to delay until Ned and his father returned. Although maybe she wouldn't stop even then, which would be even more mortifying.

Edith sat down as Nancy picked up her newly refilled lemonade. "So is he treating you well?"

If she had taken a sip, Nancy knew she would have spit it out. Small blessings. She considered playing dumb, but the question could be taken innocently enough. "Yes," she replied, and hated the hesitant note she heard in her own voice.

"Good." A small smile played on Edith's lips as she regarded Nancy over her own lemonade. "James and I tried to teach him to be respectful. If he ever gets out of line, please let me know."

A strange, cold certainty swept over Nancy. She wasn't sure how, but she knew what the answer was supposed to be. It wasn't so hard, because she truly believed it. "In the unlikely event, I would take it up with him first," she said. "But I appreciate it."

Edith's eyes sparkled at that. "Good answer. Are you living there with him?"

Nancy hadn't been foolish or thirsty enough to take a sip from her glass yet; she managed to choke on her own spit, though, and coughed hard a few times. "No. No, ma'am. Definitely not."

"Just staying over, then." She didn't phrase it as a question.

With every fraying fiber of her terror-filled being, Nancy didn't want to answer. She didn't want to lie and didn't want to admit it either. Anything she imagined saying just seemed likely to make the situation worse. Reflexively she glanced toward the house, hoping to see Ned returning, but he failed to materialize. Surely he knew she was dying out here. Surely he would do something about it.

"Has he proposed, or is he just taking advantage of the situation?"

Nancy's eyes widened. "The—situation?" Maybe the earth would be destroyed by a horrific asteroid in the next few minutes. That seemed to be her only remaining escape.

Edith waved a hand. "Having his own apartment, and in Chicago. —I guess it doesn't matter. You two have been together for a while. I keep hoping he'll break down and pop the question. Do you want me to encourage him to?"

There was no way whatever Ned and James were doing in the house could be taking this long. So she was on her own.

_You don't want to make an honest man out of me?_

Nancy tried unsuccessfully to speak again before finding her voice. "I think we'll get there," she said, her voice quivering only slightly. "I… if Ned asks you about it, I'd say that… it wouldn't be unwelcome."

Edith's smile became a grin.

_Oh my God, did he plan all this?_ Nancy dismissed that thought almost immediately; he'd had no way to know that she would answer his mother's call, and given how anxious she had been about tonight, she thought he would have called it off if he'd been able. But maybe the dinner invitation hadn't been as spontaneous as she had thought, either.

Edith raised her arm and subtly crooked her finger, covering it as a stretch, but for Nancy it had become a puzzle, and she found puzzles irresistible. Too soon for coincidence, Ned and James returned, deep in discussion over the latest Lakers news. They carried plates of cherry pie slices with scoops of vanilla ice cream on top. And just like that, Edith was the perfect hostess again, the conversation between them immediately ignored.

After Nancy had honestly pronounced herself stuffed, Ned reached for her hand and glanced at his watch. "Thanks for dinner," he told his parents. "It was fantastic. Nancy and I kind of had plans…"

Nancy swallowed the bubble of hysterical laughter she could feel rising in her throat. As long as he didn't elaborate on what those plans were…

"We're very glad you were able to stop by." Ned's mother smiled at both of them, and gave Nancy a hug. "I know you're very busy. Maybe in a couple of weeks, we could have dinner again? No pressure."

Nancy and Ned glanced at each other. Before, neither of them would have thought twice about it. Ned raved about his mother's cooking. "Sounds great," Nancy said, and gave Ned's mother a genuine smile. "And I'd love to bring something next time, especially if Hannah's able to help me out."

Edith grinned. "I could never turn that down."

Only by pretending as hard as she could that their tete-a-tete hadn't happened, could Nancy even begin to act normally. She was grateful and smiling all the way to Ned's car.

"Baby, I am so sorry."

She buckled her seat belt and gazed at him, her eyebrows raised.

"Dad said Mom wanted to talk to you alone. He wouldn't let me interrupt." Ned's eyes were warmly concerned.

A small smile played over Nancy's lips. "You promised that your mom wouldn't embarrass me, so why do you look anxious?"

"Because you looked terrified when I left," he said frankly. "Are you all right?"

She nodded slowly. "I think you made me some very specific promises about tonight," she pointed out. "Shouldn't we be heading back to your place?"

Ned raised his eyebrows, but started the car. "You're in the mood?"

She nodded again, still gazing at him.

_It wouldn't be unwelcome._

"You're going to leave me in suspense, aren't you."

She chuckled. "Probably," she admitted. "It definitely didn't go the way I expected."

"Can you just tell me whether you'll be freaking out next time too?"

If she was, it would likely be for an entirely different reason. "Maybe. But probably not." If Nancy wanted to encourage Ned to propose again, it was good to know Edith was in her corner.

Then Nancy gave herself a little shake. Eighteen-sixty-five, indeed.

* * *

Ned breathed in and smiled.

He was cuddled up against his girlfriend, and that faint, herbal floral scent was her shampoo. She was naked, and her palm was over his hand, holding it where he could feel her heartbeat. His knees were tucked up behind hers. His clothes were scattered between the doorway and his bed; he was pretty sure they had lost her dress near his couch.

Something had changed. Something his mother had said to Nancy had shifted the balance. He didn't know how else to explain it, or what else could have.

They had been wrapped around each other last night, lost in each other, until they had both been completely spent and exhausted.

And this was, by far, Ned's favorite way to wake up. He nuzzled a slow kiss against the silky skin of her shoulder.

Nancy woke with a moan a few seconds later. "How do you have _any_ energy," she mumbled, stretching.

"Guess I'm just insatiable," he murmured, caressing her hip. "Mmm?"

"Mmm," she agreed.

He had drifted off again, after, when he felt her shifting. With a sigh, she turned to kiss his cheek. Then, with a creak of the mattress springs, he was alone in bed.

After she had closed the bathroom door behind her, he realized that wherever his phone was, it definitely wasn't charging beside his bed. Muttering a curse, he pushed the covers back.

The phone was still in his pocket from the night before. He dug it out of his pants, scrubbing the heel of his other hand against his stubbled jaw as he yawned, and headed back to the warmth of his bed.

The display flashed as he plugged it in, showing an unread message.

_Try again soon, sweetheart._ His mother had ended the text with a heart.

Ned was grinning as he pulled the covers over him, and he buried his head in his pillow so Nancy wouldn't hear his delighted laughter.


End file.
